When you’re juggling prospect meetings, client deliverables, team check-ins and emails that never sleep, it’s easy to overlook the little things people say in passing. But those “little things”? They’re actually big things when it comes to trust, long-term growth and loyalty in business.

We call these missed moments, and they’re the silent killers of client relationships.

At The Expressory, we’ve spent years studying how professional service providers can turn everyday interactions into relationship-building gold. And here’s what we know for sure: emotional loyalty drives business growth, but only if you’re paying attention.

So if you're in charge of building relationships for your firm or managing a team that interacts with clients, keep reading. This is for you.

What Are “Missed Moments”?

In every conversation, there are moments when a client gives you a clue. It’s usually something personal, emotional or insightful. It may sound like small talk, but when someone shares:

• “We’re working on getting more involved in the community when our kids leave.”

• “I’m finally training for that marathon I’ve always wanted to run.”

• “Work’s been fine ... but I’ve been feeling kind of invisible lately.”

They’re handing you something valuable.

And most of the time, we don’t catch it. We nod, maybe ask another question or two, but we usually keep moving to the next agenda item. And that’s how we miss the moment to show someone they’ve been seen and heard. These moments are key to connecting with clients in a real, authentic way.

Cue-Based Listening Is the Skill Your Team Needs

One of the questions we frequently receive from our clients is if we can help their client-facing teams improve their listening skills. Listening sounds simple, but it’s a skill that takes intention. Especially in our notification-overloaded culture, where people talk, but few truly listen.

We’ve built a framework to help teams recognize and act on these insights that help with client relationship building. We practice what we call moment mining. Think of it as a mental filter for listening with five categories of emotional cues to listen for, and how to use what you hear to deepen the relationship.

Let me walk you through them, what to listen for and what those answers can teach you.

5 Categories of Listening Cues

1. Celebration

Ask questions like:

• “What’s something you’ve accomplished recently that you’re proud of?”

• “What’s gone better than expected for you this month?”

• “How do you celebrate accomplishing something big?”

What you’ll learn: Depending on what you ask, you can learn what they define as a “win” and how they like to celebrate it. Their answers tell you what’s emotionally rewarding to them and how they prefer recognition.

Why it matters: People want to feel seen and validated, but they rarely ask you to help them celebrate an accomplishment.

How to act: Send a handwritten note, a small token or even just a thoughtful follow-up email that matches the tone and size of their celebration.

2. Challenge

Ask questions like:

• “What’s something that’s been unexpectedly challenging lately?”

• “What’s been draining your energy recently?”

• “What do you wish people understood about what you’re navigating right now?”

What you’ll learn: Their stressors, struggles or emotional load, whether personal or professional.

Why it matters: These answers build empathy and trust. When someone opens up about what’s hard, it’s an invitation to show care without needing to “fix” anything.

How to act: Acknowledge the struggle. You could send a kind word, a supportive resource or check in later to see how they’re doing. Small gestures here have a big impact.

3. Identity

Ask questions like:

• “What’s a hobby or passion project you’re currently excited about?”

• “How do you typically start your day?”

• “What’s something quirky or unique about you most people don’t know?”

What you’ll learn: How they see themselves, what routines define them and what brings them joy outside of work.

Why it matters: Identity cues help you connect on a human level. These insights give texture to your relationship and fuel personalization that feels genuine.

How to act: Use these cues for spontaneous or “just because” moments like a gift that matches their interests or even a fun meme that reflects their quirks. Inside jokes create bonds.

4. Inspiration

Ask questions like:

• “What’s something or someone that’s inspired you lately?”

• “If you could learn from anyone right now, who would it be?”

• “What’s something you’ve always dreamed of doing?”

What you’ll learn: Their values, aspirations and the kinds of messages or people that motivate them.

Why it matters: Inspiration is a powerful relationship tool. These cues tell you what future goals or ideas are important to them.

How to act: This is perfect fuel for encouragement and showing that you’re there to support them. Share books and articles, or send a note that reconnects them with what they said inspires them. This works especially well during rough patches or big decisions.

5. Escape

Ask questions like:

• “What’s your favorite way to reset or unwind when life gets busy?”

• “If you could press pause and go anywhere for a weekend, where would it be?”

• “What does your ideal slow day look like?”

What you’ll learn: How they recharge and care for themselves. And how they may be feeling energetically right now.

Why it matters: Escape cues offer great clues into well-being. This category can also hint at overwhelm or burnout if you’re paying attention.

How to act: Use this info to guide thoughtful gifts or messages that align with their favorite ways to rest, escape or enjoy solitude. It’s especially helpful around holidays or during high-stress seasons.

Combine Listening With A System For True Excellence and Connecting with Clients​

Once you’ve done the listening, it’s important that you don’t stop there. The trap most teams fall into is that they hear something meaningful and think about doing something thoughtful. But then it falls off the radar. Life moves on. The moment’s lost.

To turn listening into loyalty, you need a few simple systems:

• A place to track emotional moments (not just tasks)

• A library of response ideas (notes, books, playlists, gifts)

• Clear ownership of the follow-up (who’s sending the note, updating the CRM, etc.)

This doesn’t have to be complicated. It just has to be consistent.

Because consistency is what builds trusted relationships.

What the Research Says (Yep, There’s Data!)

In our recent Strategic Engagement Index, we found:

• 94% of business leaders believe relationship building is worth the investment

• 96% say showing care improves profitability

• And yet, only 34% have a documented strategy to do it

That’s a massive opportunity gap and one your team can close.

Five Questions to Ask Yourself (and Your Team)

If you want to stop missing moments and start building emotional loyalty, these five questions will get you moving:

1. Which of the five emotional cue categories do we notice most? And which are we missing?

2. Do we have curiosity-led questions ready that open the door to meaningful insights?

3. Are we capturing the emotional moments we hear or just relying on memory?

4. Do we have thoughtful response ideas ready so we can follow up quickly and meaningfully?

5. What’s one system we can improve this month to turn listening into loyalty more often?
   

Pro tip: You don’t need a fully built-out strategy tomorrow. Start with one cue, one moment, one thoughtful action. The ripple effect is real.

And if you’d like the full set of worksheets, cue cards and training tools we use with clients to teach this approach, drop us a note here. Or join our next live Q&A.

The more you listen with intention, the more people will remember how you made them feel. And that’s how you grow.

Frequently Asked Questions:

What are missed moments in client relationships?

Missed moments are emotional cues clients share in conversation that go unnoticed or unacted on. These moments often reveal what matters most to a client. When teams fail to respond to them, trust weakens and connecting with clients​ slowly becomes transactional.

Why is emotional loyalty important for client retention?

Emotional loyalty in business goes beyond satisfaction. When clients feel seen, heard and understood, they are more likely to stay, forgive mistakes and choose your firm even when competitors offer lower prices.

What is cue-based listening in business?

Cue-based listening when it comes to building relationships with clients is the practice of listening for emotional signals, not just facts or tasks. It helps teams recognize personal insights and use them to build stronger, more meaningful client relationships.

How can teams improve their listening skills with clients?

Teams can improve listening by asking curiosity-led questions, slowing down conversations, training for emotional awareness and creating systems to capture and act on what clients share.

How does better listening turn into business growth?

When listening is paired with consistent follow-up, it builds trust, deepens relationships and increases loyalty. Over time, people feel cared for, they feel seen and that's the kind of thing that leads to higher retention, more referrals and long-term growth.